Blast from the past: Falling in Love

This was a miracle day; falling in love is the greatest feeling. Life was so good; I cherished every moment. I had never met a person with such passion and fighting spirit for life. He kept saying that he wanted to contribute at least one thing to make a better world. He can be assured that he's done to mine. He took a good care of me and motivated me to start my daily exercise again. He taught me how to run for 30 minutes which I had never thought to have the ability to do. He accompanied me swimming for other times to prevent me getting bored of running. He pushed me so hard that one of my friend questioned him whether it was too much for me. He always set my goal higher because he knew I could do better. He taught me how to stand up straight and be strong. But it was not an easy lesson. One year later, I ran away again. I wanted to be thin and slim but I was tired of exercising and dieting. I then started to cut down my insulin and eat anything I wanted. I also stopped seeing my doctor and dietitian. I received many calls from my doctor but I ignored her. I was very obsessed with my career too. I dedicated my life 100% for my career and put aside my priority on my health. In fact, my career and education life went really well just as I wanted. It was a very easy yet stupid solution. It was the dumbest decision I had ever made. Day by day, I started losing weight and I was proud of it. But I was sick; I felt so sick that one day my boyfriend had to take me to an emergency room. Just as I thought, I was ketoacidic. There were so many ketones in my body that I had hard times to breathe. The doctor said that I was brought to the hospital just in time, I could have lost it. After I was released from the hospital, my body recovered but not my mind. I started injecting more insulin but still not enough. I stopped exercising completely because I knew that exercising would make it worse during hyperglycemia (high blood sugar). I ate like crazy even more than my boyfriend did. I hurt myself so damn well but I did not realize that I hurt him even more. I had said and done things that I regret; I was completely lost. My family was worried about me too; especially my mom. She was very sad seeing me out of control. I had never been hospitalized again but it had gotten my eyes several times. I had several solar inflammations; my eyes felt burning when seeing lights. Sometimes my sight went blurred too. It had gotten to my feet too; my feet got swollen many times and I could not wear high heels. There was so much anger in me at that time. I was angry not because I had to have injections everyday. I was angry because I had to count every bit carbohydrates I ate; because I knew I had to deal with it always and forever; because even when I thought I did it right, it did not go as well as I wanted; because life was so damn hard. It was even harder because I am the kind of person who struggles to be opened to others, I really am. Sometimes if I force myself to be opened, the words just came out differently.