Blast from the past: Baby Steps

I have lost everything but I still have not lost myself for sure. It's time to get my life back. I started seeing my doctor and dietitian again. I could see that my doctor was mad but I could never believe how much care she had for me. I had always been treated like her own daughter. She just said one statement to me,"It was ancient; it was a history. We can do better this time!" What a comforting statement; it really gave me a new hope. She told me that my case was not unusual thing; it actually happened to other people. My dietitian was also very supportive to me. She patiently listened to what I said and she told me that I had some kind of eating disorder. I learned bit by bit to accept my body image. She was very patient with me and told me to just take baby steps. She said that my diabetes management should fit my eating habit, not the other way around. She also mentioned that I focused too much on my diabetes and it was not healthy for my mind.

I started my log book again; my blood sugars were in the range of 72 to 458 mg/dL. I had some hypos and some highs and it was not a good time. It's gotten better though. I am still in the same insulins but my doctor increase the doses. Now I am on 26 units of Lantus at around 10 pm and 1:10 (1 unit for 10 grams carbs) ratio of NovoRapid. She also increased my correction factor to be 1 unit for every 40 mg/dL after 150 mg/dL blood sugar. When I got period, she increased my correction factor to be 1 unit for every 30 mg/dL.

I also RUN again woo hoo I love running, it just cleared out my bad mind. Whenever I got sad, I did some running and it brought me back to life. I changed my strategy on exercising this time; I did it moderately but continuously. I run for 30 minutes and work out for another 30 minutes every Sunday and bicycle for 30 minutes in weekdays. I gave myself a break on Saturday. I planned on swimming again but still could not find the right time that fit my schedule. I would also start my golf classes on March 5; I thought it would help me to keep active. However, exercise was not easy for me. It tended to increase my blood sugar. My doctor told me that my hormone level was increased during the exercise and so was my blood sugar. Thus she told me to exercise right after meal so that the insulin would still be active and she was right! My blood sugar was so much better; I did not have any 400's anymore.

Despite all of these good news, my blood sugar was not as stable as desired yet. My doctor told me that I had very slow digestion so that my blood sugar usually got higher after 4 hours because I did not have the rapid insulin anymore while my body was still absorbing the food. I think that my mouth is too fast consuming and my body is too slow digesting lol =) Anyway, she referred me to an endocrinologist who knows a lot about insulin pump. I would meet with him on March 6 for the possibility of using insulin pump (sigh) I actually had a lot of fear on this one. I did not think that another change would be a good thing for me but if it would make my life better I would do it. Insulin pump contains 3 parts: a disposable infusion set (small needle to be attached to my body), the pump (controls, batteries, etc), and the insulin. The insulin is just rapid acting and it would act as both the basal (like Lantus) and the bolus (like NovoRapid). Thus, the pump would be programmed to continuously give me drops of insulin and I should push button to give me more insulin when about to eat. I did not want to expect too much from this because anything could happen. I just kept this in my mind: worst case scenario, I would be back on my daily injections.