The cloud in my head

He came back last week and when I heard his voice, I was so excited I did not feel the pain in my legs no more. It was so good to see him but everything was different. I know I should have expected this but you know, it's easier to be said than done. Ever since that day, I kept bugging him on the phone trying to find a reason to talk with him. I guess I have to stop now. He kept his promise today though. I requested him my last wish: dancing. O God how we danced gracefully. My eyes were closed tight the whole time and I knew, I was very sure, that God was watching us. I should have picked up a longer song but I decided to pick up "our song". I was very grateful to have that opportunity but I was so sad to let him go. He will not stay here long and he doesn't let me go with him. You may think how pathetic I am but he is really a big part of my life. He was my inspiration. How ironic, I still remember when I was diagnosed with diabetes I was sad thinking that I will not be able to eat my wedding cake with my future husband. Now, because of the pump, I can eat real sugar and I am still sad because I have no one to share with. I am sorry, it's just good to write this off of my mind cause otherwise I just sit on my bed all day long looking like a crazy woman. Anyway, 2 days ago at 8 pm, my doctor called me. She said that my HbA1c was 6.1% yeyyyy normal is below 6% but this is my best result since I was first diagnosed. I was happy with the news but I was really touched that she called me that late. She is just the best doctor. She really cares for her patients. Alrighty, my health is getting better and better but my mind is just the opposite. To be honest, I never felt this low in my life; sick, lonely, no career, no future whatsoever. I am almost falling apart. So I guess I have to work on this now; gotta keep moving...gotta keep breathing no matter how painful it is. I guess that's life.