Living with Pump

It's been 3 weeks since the first time I put on my pump. Other than hating the hanging tube, it's been fine. I have been keeping it on my tummy though since I am too thin to put it on other parts. My weight has been quite stable at 100 lbs now pheww...I was afraid to look like a walking skull. Anyway, my gastropharesis (slow digestion) problem has been on and on; I eat almost everything liquid now or at least semi liquid. Two days ago was quite scary; I thought I was really about to die. Here's the story. It was about 9:30 pm and I got little bit hypo. It was 75 mg/dL but for some reason I felt really hungry. So I ate my crackers and finally decide to eat chocolate bread for just one bite. I think the last time I ate chocolate bread was 12 years ago. It was so good that I forgot to chew it real well. Then about half an hour later I started feeling not good. I started screaming again but stopped when all the lights and sounds have been turned off. I was ok for a while but then suddenly it was so hard to breathe and I had abdominal pain too. O my God, it was terrible. But then I threw up some clear liquid and I got better. Then a little bit later it came back again. This time it was REALLY hard to breathe; I thought it was my time! But thank God...thank God I threw up the bread (Yes, the only 1 bite I got). Apparently it got stuck on its way down. Gosh...gotta keep breathing...gotta keep breathing!

Graduation

I just graduated yesterday!! This time it is for real; I come to the real world now. I felt happy yet scared. Anyway, for my health update, my doctor change my medication to neurontin, It is a medicine to calm down the nerve. It has been working soooo well =D I love it; my legs have been close to recovered. O by the way I just found out that I have been having headaches because of low blood pressure. So yesterday my mom bought me a handy blood pressure monitor (it's like a big watch). I noticed that my blood pressure dropped every time I was hungry =) Luckily the graduation gown is very big so I can hide the meter on my hand. I was really worried if anything happened to me yesterday at the graduation ceremony but no, everything was fine. I was really happy to see a lot of my friends cheering for me. He could not come though. But he gave me a dolphin necklace soooo cuteeee!! I was really happy; I felt that he was there for me =) I think I was too happy that I had a very sweet dream about him last night =P

My Gift

Two days ago I decided to stop taking the anti-depressant and reduce my sleeping pills. The anti-depressant has really made me depressed and it has not help my legs anyway. It did at the beginning but not so much anymore. So I thought, while I am still in a small dose I just stop it. My doctor is on vacation this week so I cannot discuss this with her. I hope I did the right thing.

Ever since I had diabetes, I have always been sour about it. I really wish I can be a normal girl; I want to eat whatever and whenever; do whatever and whenever. I really wish my life is going back to before I was 12. Then, yesterday I watched Halle Berry in TV. She has been diabetic and she said it was a gift from God. It really hit me. I thought to myself I'd better to start thinking that way. Yes, it is my gift for it has made my life more meaningful. Normal is boring!