me & eating disorder

met my dietitian yesterday, this time the hospital's dietitian not student health center's dietitian...actually i've met her before, long time ago when i first got here but i don't think she remembered me...once again she told me that i had eating disorder...i am too obsessed with my weight and what i eat, excessive exersice, and i always think that i am fat...she said that chance of it happening in diabetics is greater than in normal people because we have to deal with counting carbs everytime and we watch out everything we eat...she told me that i didn't actually need to see dietitian 'cause i knew about that stuff already, i need to go see a counselour...i think it's true that i need to talk to someone about this, someone who would be willing to understand me 'cause i don't think most people can, but i got so tired of dealing with this...i feel like it's been too long and what if talking about it makes me more aware of it and makes it even worse? sometimes i get jealous at people who don't care about eating, they just eat anything anytime...i tried doing it last time but in the wrong way, i promise to myself that i won't play with insulin dose again...sigh~ i wish i can breakaway from this bad habit someday, God speed~

crappp @!@

diet in progress...arghhh can i get a steady weight plizzzzzz!?!?!

arghh

yesterday was really sad, it could have been the end of our story but i like to think of it as to be continued instead...that way, i can keep looking forward...anyway back to my lonely life here we go again be strong debby chan!!!haik